Friday, 24 August 2007

Troll Tales, Short Nonsensical Story

The Fairy & The Troll

There once was a troll who lived under the bridge in the dark land of Brock Lea. He was quite happy under his bridge, drinking rum with the other trolls and scaring the daylights out of anyone who got too close to disturbing his self-made equilibrium.


Up on the hill, in the sunny land of the Green Witch there lived a happy little fairy girl. I wouldn't say she was a good fairy, because she was given to fits of rage every now and then that caused her to turn people into stone the minute they annoyed her... but most days she was just happy to skip along, swinging a basket of flowers and listening to soca on her ipod.

One day, while passing through dark Brock Lea, the happy little fairy girl spotted the troll under the bridge. She thought that he was rather handsome for a troll and thought such rugged good looks were wasted in the dark. Perhaps he was really a handsome prince in disguise. Being a bit nosy and fond of making trouble, she snapped a branch from a nearby tree and decided to do a little stirring.
Wearing her loudest shoes she stomped back and forth across the bridge - taking sweet pleasure in the mixture of fear and satisfaction that came while running for the hills every time the troll came roaring out in anger!

Every day she continued to tease the troll. The torment continued for several months until one day she stamped across the bridge but the troll didn't chase her. Worried, the fairy girl took her trusty stick and climbed under the bridge to poke around. She poked the troll so hard that he sprang out, snatched the stick from her hand and whacked her over the head with it!

A raging battle ensued: a cacophony of jibes, pranks and quick witted come-backs peppered the afternoon - until exhausted silence enveloped the pair: each too tired to continue but too stubborn to admit defeat. The troll had met someone he could not scare away, who fought as hard as he did, and the fairy had met someone she could not turn into stone.
So began the most unusual romance in the land of the Green Witch. The troll learned to like flowers and skipping across bridges; the fairy learned to stop scowling and to be tolerant of others - even if they were annoying.

One day, after Thanksgiving, the King of land decided to make a new law that said that the sunny people could no longer chill out with the people of the dark place. The borders were being closed, because storybook creatures were under attack. This was terrible news for the troll and the fairy girl - it meant that they would not be allowed to see each other ever again! The pair were devastated.

The fairy girl couldn't imagine living without the stabilising and organised influence of the troll; and the troll couldn't imagine living without the uplifting if somewhat chaotic influence of the fairy!

So after thinking it through, the troll asked the Fairy if he could stay with her forever.

This was a big deal for him, because it would mean leaving his cave under the bridge to live in the world of men, he'd have to step out of his comfort zone and live somewhere where the world did not revolve around trolls but he felt this a small price to pay in order to keep his ray of sunshine.

It was also a big deal for the fairy girl: she'd have to give up her wings so that she couldn't run away at the first sign of trouble: and with that would go all her magical powers: she would be human. But when faced with the prospect of being able to fly but not having her companion anymore, she too decided humanity was a small price to pay - so she said 'yes'.

so the Troll became a man and the fairy lost her wings but they each gained the strength and beauty of the other and so they had no regrets at all.

And they moved to a Castle at the top of a hill and lived happily ever after.

Tuesday, 7 August 2007

End of The Road?

Many have asked why one wouldn't get up again after being knocked down, and whether it depends on who or what is knocking one down.

We've been taught to let nothing stand in our way - to get back up again and never ever let them keep you down! To fight for what you believe in, to fight for what we know to be right... to understand that nothing is freely given, everything you need, every dream you wish to see fulfilled - you must get off your own backside and make it happen!

But... what if your precepts are wrong? What if you aren't meant to win THIS particular battle - this thing that keeps knocking you down - no matter how far you get - it pushes you back and necessitates that you start again...

What if you are only meant to learn the lesson - and the same situation will repeat itself until you learn whatever it is you're meant to learn not until you have won.

Regarding my current situation, I have always thought that it was 'winnable' - I just had to keep fighting for what I believed in... and by being rock solid, the situation (and its associated players) would learn to bend around me and accommodate me - I would win. (After all Dr King made it didnt he?)

But (and I know it's terrible to start a sentence with a but) but lately, I am starting to think that maybe I am wrong - maybe I am NOT meant to be fighting and pushing forward- maybe I should recognise the wall for what it is: a wall - that I am not meant to break through - but that signals this is the end of this road indicating that I should choose another path.

Forbidden

Many years ago I stood at a crossroad and made a choice between two partners. One represented raw passion, ego trips and little else, the other stood for security, partnership, companionship, family and a much smaller measure of passion.

I said goodbye to the sex bomb, and it's a good thing that I don't have his number anymore.

The temptation to run to him when things at home are sour is often overwhelming. And that's weird because there is no evidence that life with him would have been sweeter...

Maybe it's the not knowing that makes it seem all the more real.
All the more tempting... more delicious...

Or maybe it's the simple and undeniable fact that he ALWAYS made me feel wanted.

I knew without a doubt that I was wanted; and that someone found me desirable.

What confidence that imparts; what strength it provides: the courage to drag oneself up and run that comb through one's hair one more time or to add that last touch of gloss before stepping through the door: because u never know who's watching, whose fantasy u might be feeding. To know that you are HOTT.

Even when ur beat down and broken inside u live inside his mind as a goddess:

beautiful,
untouchable
and timeless
forever.

I do not consider myself needy, or defined by the opinions of others - however, the self-affirmation attached to such simple sentences as :

"Honey, you look wonderful tonight" or

"Baby, I can't keep my hands off you" or

"Did you notice everyone's eyes were on you?"

can be so edifying... so richly empowering that the absence of such over an extended period of time can start to sow doubts and make one feel dowdy, frumpy or invisible.

I hurt so much.
Yet solace is nowhere to be found.

I made my choice so I will stay true to my promise
no matter how bitter the pill.