My desk is on the 8th floor. The other day I was heading down, happy to be going home after another slog on the corporate treadmill.
I stepped into the elevator (as you do) and hit the 'G' key. As we descended, I started to exhale.. and de-stress a little... only a few more floors and this day will be over - I haven't thumped or cussed anybody, so maybe this day wouldnt end too badly after all.
But - it was not meant to be. The lift jarred to a halt at the 6th... and a gentleman.. actually no - a person of the male persuasion (POMP) clambered in.
Now tell me something, if there is one person in the lift, and you are getting in (meaning you will be person number 2) - where do you stand? Next to them? Opposite them? As far away from them as possible?
POMP decided to stand where? In front of me. That's right, he was so close to me that if I had tried to look down at my feet - my forehead would have butted his back... and yes, I know my forehead is big - but come on!
Talk about all up in my space? Now can anyone tell me why on earth he had to stand so close to me? Was my perfume so alluring? Or did my aura draw him in? Did I have some trade secret he wanted to suck out of me through osmosis? What was he thinking?
People, I was vexed... my temper was rising like mercury in a thermometer. I couldn't inhale without fibres from his suit wafting up my nostrils. I wanted to scream at him:
WHY ARE YOU ALL UP IN MY SPACE?
Now some of you may be asking yourself - "Why didn't YOU just step back?"
Come now, you must know how stubborn I am. Stepping back would have been a sign of weakness, letting him know that it was ok for him to take my spot... He was not black, I was, he was not female, I was. Any giving in on my part would have made feminists and equal rights activists everywhere turn in their graces/hand their heads in shame!
I was standing where I was standing because I wanted to, there was noone else in that spot when I got in - therefore it was my spot.. just like it is my seat on the train if I sit in it. If someone sat on your half of the seat - while you were still sitting in it - would you get up? No, I didn't think so - you would tell dem to 'scotch' round or ask dem if dey backside too big fuh dey side of the seat!
Anyway - why did he think that he could claim my spot in the lift, just because what? cos he was a man? cos he was taller? cos he may have been more senior? I don't think so bro, I don't care who you are - but I got in this lift first, so I am staying right where I am and YOU need to move.
So, I did NOT step back... I stayed put, my feet firmly planted on the ground and I folded my arms... if anything, I even inched a bit closer so that HE would feel as uncomfortable as I did ... and then I fumed.
We stayed like that all the way down.
Noone else got in - they must have sensed the radioactive tension emanating through the doors and decided to get the next one.
At the ground floor, my horns retracted and fire ceased to flare from my nostrils.. my pupils even lost their red hue... I smiled at the security guards and walked away... but as I walked I wondered about what had happened.
Somewhere along the way - we learn to respect other people's personal space. We don't normally stand close to people unless we know them, and if there a3 strangers in a large moving 'thing' (train, bus, elevator..) - they don't normally flock together... more likely, they'll stand at ends with their coffees and papers and busy themselves until they can get off/out. So why not this man?
Was he one of those people Don Cheadle spoke about in 'Crash'? People who are so starved for affection/social contact that they crash into others?
Or did his parents just not teach him any manners?
More worryingly, why did his behaviour elicit such a strong reaction in ME?
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