Lemme Upgrade You

[verse 1:]

I hear you be the block but I'm the lights that keep the streets on
Notice you the type that like to keep them on a leash though
I'm known to walk alone, but I'm alone for a reason
Sending me a drink ain't appeasing
Believe me, Come harder this wont be easy
Don't doubt yourself; trust me YOU need ME
This ain't a shoulder with a chip or an ego
But what you think they all mad at me for?

[bridge:]
You need a real woman in your life (That's a good look)
Taking care of home and still fly (That's a good look)
I'm a help you build up your account (Thats a good look)
Better yet a hood look, Ladies thats a good look
When you're in them big meetings for the mills (Thats a good look)
You take me just to compliment the deal (Thats a good look)
And anything you cop I'll split the bill (Thats a good look)
Better yet a hood look, Believe me, Ladies thats a good look

[chorus:]
Partner Let me upgrade you, Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels, Upgrade you...
...
Partner let me upgrade you, flip a new page
Introduce you to some new things & upgrade you


[verse 2:]
I can do for you what Martin did for the people
Ran by the men but the women keep the tempo
It's very seldom that you're blessed to find your equal
so I'll play my part and let you take the lead role
Believe me, I'll follow, this could be easy
I'll be your help, whenever you need me
I see you hustle, with MY hustle
I can keep you focused on your focus
I can feed you

[bridge:]
You need a real woman in your life (That's a good look)
Taking care of home and still fly (That's a good look)
I'm a help you build up your account (Thats a good look)
Better yet a hood look, Ladies thats a good look
When you're in them big meetings for the mills (Thats a good look)
You take me just to compliment the deal (Thats a good look)
Anything you cop I'll split the bill (Thats a good look)
Better yet a hood look, Believe me, Ladies thats a good look

[chorus:]
Partner Let me upgrade you, Audemars Piguet you
Switch your neck ties to purple labels, Upgrade you
...
Partner let me upgrade you, Flip a new page
Introduce you to some new things & Upgrade you

[Jay-Z:]

(Uh HOV, Uh, HOV, uh huh huh!)
I B the d-boy who infiltrated all the corporate dudes
They call shots, I call audibles
Jacob the jeweler, baubles, Lauraine Schwartz
sorta dudeIt's big balling baby when I'm courting you
I'm talking spy bags and fly pads and rooms at the Bloomberg
And rumors you on the verge of a new merger
Cause that rock on ya finger is like a tumor
You can't fit ya hand in ya new purse

It's humorous to me - they watching
We just yachting, island hopping off
Amalfi coast Mafioso, oh baby you ever seen satin
No, not the car
but everywhere we are
You sure to see stars.
This is high level not eye level,
My bezzle courtesy of Audemars
I order yours tomorrow
now look how much I saved you
Mama let me upgrade you

[hook:]

Just when you think we had it all
Big ends, condos, collecting cars
Picture your life elevating with me
Make you my 'project celebrity'
I keep your name hot in them streets
That little glimpse of light
that makes that diamond really shine
And you already is a star
but unless you're flawless
Then your dynasty ain't complete without a chief like me


[Outro:]
Audemars Piguet watch
Dimples in ya necktie
Hermes briefcase
Cartier top clips
Silk lined blazers
Diamond creamed facials
Vi Vi X cuff links
6 star pent suites

Copyright - Beyonce & Jay-Z



Now let's really break this one down, cos I KNOW a whole lotta my degree educated female friends embrace this concept.. but what these lyrics are saying is "you gotta get it right".

I ain't saying that relationships between college girls and plumbers can't and won't work out -what I AM saying is: Don't get into that relationship thinking you can or should "bring him up to your level" - cos if he don't want to be there - he will resent you and you will be spending all your time trying to refine him and shape and mould him into the man you wanted him to be - that he becomes more of a 'project' and much much less of a 'partner'.

Note - the lyrics say : you already is a star (let's ingore the grammar),... but unless you're flawless; your dynasty ain't complete without a chief like me.

So you gotta pick the partner who is already a star - as much as you are (whether that's in property development, building services, plumbing, law, catering, investment banking etc. etc. I dont care) - and you BOTH need to be complementing and upgrading eachother.

You gotta be the person that takes HIS empire to the next level - and in so doing - take your OWN empire to the next level.

Holler if you feel me.

GOLD

Some people never recognise it

Though it's right before their eyes and shines in all its glory... They never ever see

They choose something that looks just like it

And it may glitter for a time, But gold, it'll never be

I guess you never held on to quality

Or you woulda recognised by now

Something so special, so true

When it's standing right in front of you

Im gold babe

Catch me in the slipstream, passing by the fools who just dont know

Pure gold babe

You're looking at the real thing: If you knew my worth you wouldn't let go...

Gold lies in rivers, undiscovered

Hidden from the sight of those who dont know what to look for... They never gonna find it

Sometimes the value is uncovered;

Other times it's cast aside by those who are just unsure

I guess you never held on to quality or you woulda recognised by now

Something so special so true, when I'm standing right in front of you!

Im gold babe, catch me in the slipstream, passing by the fools who just dont know

Pure gold babe, You're looking at the real thingIf you knew my worth you wouldnt let go

Cos all the things you fail to see

Separated you from me

I decide who wins my time and who comes inside

Cos what is true and what is real

Finds some way of being revealed

Im gold babe, catch me in the slipstream, passing by the fools who just dont know
Pure gold babe, You're looking at the real thingIf you knew my worth you wouldnt let go

- copyright Beverly Knight

Why have I posted this? Because it helped me remember who I am, what I was worth and prompted me to get the hell out of a really bad relationship.

How many of us forget what we are worth, how many of us forget that we are diamonds and settle for being treated like cubic zirconium? Why do we do that - and try to hang on to the fools who don't respect us, don't treat us like creatures of value - but refer to us as their 'f**k buddies, flams, jump-offs, baby girl, side piece etc etc" instead of their equal counterpart, partner for life, and dare I say it : wife?

The Concept of Personal Space

My desk is on the 8th floor. The other day I was heading down, happy to be going home after another slog on the corporate treadmill.

I stepped into the elevator (as you do) and hit the 'G' key. As we descended, I started to exhale.. and de-stress a little... only a few more floors and this day will be over - I haven't thumped or cussed anybody, so maybe this day wouldnt end too badly after all.

But - it was not meant to be. The lift jarred to a halt at the 6th... and a gentleman.. actually no - a person of the male persuasion (POMP) clambered in.

Now tell me something, if there is one person in the lift, and you are getting in (meaning you will be person number 2) - where do you stand? Next to them? Opposite them? As far away from them as possible?

POMP decided to stand where? In front of me. That's right, he was so close to me that if I had tried to look down at my feet - my forehead would have butted his back... and yes, I know my forehead is big - but come on!

Talk about all up in my space? Now can anyone tell me why on earth he had to stand so close to me? Was my perfume so alluring? Or did my aura draw him in? Did I have some trade secret he wanted to suck out of me through osmosis? What was he thinking?

People, I was vexed... my temper was rising like mercury in a thermometer. I couldn't inhale without fibres from his suit wafting up my nostrils. I wanted to scream at him:

WHY ARE YOU ALL UP IN MY SPACE?

Now some of you may be asking yourself - "Why didn't YOU just step back?"

Come now, you must know how stubborn I am. Stepping back would have been a sign of weakness, letting him know that it was ok for him to take my spot... He was not black, I was, he was not female, I was. Any giving in on my part would have made feminists and equal rights activists everywhere turn in their graces/hand their heads in shame!

I was standing where I was standing because I wanted to, there was noone else in that spot when I got in - therefore it was my spot.. just like it is my seat on the train if I sit in it. If someone sat on your half of the seat - while you were still sitting in it - would you get up? No, I didn't think so - you would tell dem to 'scotch' round or ask dem if dey backside too big fuh dey side of the seat!

Anyway - why did he think that he could claim my spot in the lift, just because what? cos he was a man? cos he was taller? cos he may have been more senior? I don't think so bro, I don't care who you are - but I got in this lift first, so I am staying right where I am and YOU need to move.

So, I did NOT step back... I stayed put, my feet firmly planted on the ground and I folded my arms... if anything, I even inched a bit closer so that HE would feel as uncomfortable as I did ... and then I fumed.

We stayed like that all the way down.

Noone else got in - they must have sensed the radioactive tension emanating through the doors and decided to get the next one.

At the ground floor, my horns retracted and fire ceased to flare from my nostrils.. my pupils even lost their red hue... I smiled at the security guards and walked away... but as I walked I wondered about what had happened.

Somewhere along the way - we learn to respect other people's personal space. We don't normally stand close to people unless we know them, and if there a3 strangers in a large moving 'thing' (train, bus, elevator..) - they don't normally flock together... more likely, they'll stand at ends with their coffees and papers and busy themselves until they can get off/out. So why not this man?

Was he one of those people Don Cheadle spoke about in 'Crash'? People who are so starved for affection/social contact that they crash into others?

Or did his parents just not teach him any manners?

More worryingly, why did his behaviour elicit such a strong reaction in ME?